The Gravity BuBBle...

 She was getting the message to release and let go 

of all that no longer served her highest good. 

And with that thought she got scared. Anxious. Resistant. 

She didn't want to let go of things because she felt afraid 

that she would be left alone and in a void of nothingness. 

She didn't want to not be seen. 

If even being seen as horrible was all she could concoct.

She made sure to give it her 110% best effort.

She had become the best worst version of herself that 

she could ever imagine. 

She was proud of herself. 

And that's when it broke. 

The bubble of pride she was living in. 

Giving herself over to creating the best worst version of herself

was done with. 

There was nothing more that she could create with that version 

of herself. 

And so now, there she sat alone in the Unknown... 

In that void of nothingness that she had been trying to 

avoid for so long. 

And she realized that it really wasn't that scary. 

It was actually a place to take a rest and breathe. 

And then she called on God and asked him to reconnect her.

To connect her to the truth of who he made her. 

And in reconnecting to her true self, first she had to 

Dig up all her past patterns. 

They needed to be spotted, recognized as weeds, 

acknowledged that they could look pretty even though they were weeds, 

and then the decision would have to be made to finally uproot 

them because they were sucking away all the nutrients from her 

growing into who she truly came here to express. 

So she sat back and just re-evaluated her life and her habits. 

She began to see a lot of repeating of old family patterns in 

herself. 

The fear of God not being there to guide her on this earth,

was the 

biggest fear

 of all that she carried forward from her family roots.

 

She realized now, that all that she had allowed herself to run from or believe

that came from the family line, the family roots, was all FEAR based. 

And to escape fear was never the answer. 

It took her 44 years to realize that the only way to heal her own life. 

Her own faulty patterns, was indeed not to

Escape thru over indulgence in food, drink, drugs, cleaning, working, etc.

Resistance thru rage, hate and anger at all the world

Withdrawal thru isolation and solitudes into depression of emotions

Distractions thru fantasy illusions of movies, books, or gadgets.

Judgments of people, cultures, and traditions... 

or even

Destruction of self or of others because of paranoia and suspicions.

She learned finally that...

The true demise of fear was to actually face it! 

See it in it's entirety! 

To accept it as real and for what it was capable of. 

The fact that FEAR really was always just her own Shadows. 

Her own inner demons that were stuck inside her because she didn't

know how to greet them when they came to her.

The one other thing that she had finally learned was that 

to FEEL from the heart was the MOST IMPORTANT weapon

when it came to coming head to head with fear. 

Why?

Because the heart is all LOVE. 

And where there is LOVE, fear can not thrive. 

So the choice of how to greet the fears was always up to her.

 Every time she came upon a demon fear such as;

Fear of losing her family. 

Fear of losing respect.

Fear of being left all alone... 

Fear of not being heard.

Fear of not being important. 

Fear of not being right.

Fear of not being lovable or loving enough.

All of these fears when they came to her seemed so big! 

And because she didn't know how to greet them correctly because of 

a false belief in the root of her family tree being connected to a weed.

Every time she would handle them with a fight instead of LIGHT! 

And this is what had lead her to the patterns that now seemed 

to keep her in a spin cycle of repeats.

It was time to stop and see them clearly. . 

It was time to stop and smell the roses and realize that if they stink

they were never really roses... and that she had put on 

rose colored glasses her whole life wanting to see the weeds

as something more then what they truly were. 

A false belief....

And so... today, she had come to that message of

The time to release...

All of these weeds of fear had to First be seen and accepted as not working... 

She had a garden before her full of them. 

It looked so beautiful, yet smelled so bad. 

It was time to recognize them as weeds and not flowers!

And it was time to uproot them all with the knowing 

that the love she truly felt in her heart was always the way forward. 

And if fear should ever arise, when making decisions.. 

She knew that she could trust God and her true hearts feelings 

to guide her through every step of her life. Why?

Because even if sometimes her fearful Ego's feelings should allow her to 

experience something not so pleasant and aligned with her true self,

the unpleasant consequence would only serve to realign her with 

her highest truth, which was love for herself first and then love for others! 

And this is where she felt the most Joy, Peace, and Love in her. 

And so this is where she began to Garden her life back to health! 

BuRNinG CoaLs

 She awoke the next day excited to hear her favorite tarot reader.

The messages that always came through never ceased to amaze her!

And this morning was no different!

As she heard the words 'Lie and twin flame' spoken, 

immediately, she knew she was busted. 

The words 'twin flame' get tossed around in this life as an attachment

assistant... 

Yet she knew the real meaning behind the true twin flame connections.

She could read charts and so she knew when there was something

that had existed between two people several life times ago. 

And with him this was one of those many lifetimes. 

How many more would it take to really learn what they came 

here to learn? 

That was the million dollar question.

Well, for her, this reading about knowing 

where we lie, not only to others,

but to our own selves...

Got her really intrigued! 

It was almost like something inside her got nudged and then continuously

tugged at her soul until she allowed the truth to be told...

But so then where was her lie in the twin flame story?

 The only way to find out was through the events that always repeated.

and here she was anxious to let it all unfold

 in the recap of the whole story from her perspective

in order to find out. 

It all began when she decided to change her profile picture because the solstice 

was very much upon them. She always got her nudges to take actions from her intuition.

And this profile change was indeed one of those nudges. 

As the day progressed, she got a couple of people clicking 'like' on her

update, including her sister's ex. Which of course not only triggered 

her sister, but also triggered her own ex...

Her twin flame, 

who of course had been cast back into the evil underworld

where he kept trying to escape from over and over again.

He had been watching her ever so closely since day one

 and always managed to get himself Triggered!

She already knew he needed a lot of shadow work, just as she was doing her own...

 yet he had clearly

expressed to her many times before that he didn't want to do his. 

And that is exactly what lead the relationship they had to it's demise.

~Three Months Later...~

 There he was still following her ever so closely on social media,

 constantly getting himself triggered and then running up smear 

campaigns against her, when clearly all they were doing was adding on to his 

regrets. His disappointments. His fears. 

His shadow was growing faster then imaginable! 

He tried to escape them by pushing his mind and body so hard... 

He was running miles and miles daily... trying to out run his shadow... 

But little did he know... 

All he really had to do was stop and turn the other direction. 

Back To the light. 

And in that way, his shadow would not lead him. 

Instead it would be behind him.

And he wouldn't lose his power anymore because when he walked forward,

 the shadow would always be behind him. 

Peace, Love, Joy, and Freedom would all be his.  

But he chose to live in his shadows. 

And so there, he would only find and meet his demons and fears. 

Battling them daily... Yet never going anywhere except in circles, 

called Karma or The Matrix. 

So... 

After hearing the message from the tarot lady... 

She knew that she had a lie of her own to face. 

And that lie was one of mystery. 

Why? 

Because she knew that her twin flame was like this when she first met him.

She saw all of his pains and chains that he had tied himself all up in.

Yet she still chose to get with him. 

And this was the mysterious lie in her. 

Why did she do it? 

Was it pride? 

Pride that she was going to fix him or help him? meaning she was better?

That was a possibility. 

Who was she kidding, that was it exactly.

She had always thought she was better then everyone...

Until she met him and realized that she was no different then him.

They were twins. 

Twin Flames. 

Meaning they could either put their flames together and create 

a brighter flame to share with the world..

or they could burn each other when they allowed their own flames to burn themselves

and get way out of control.

 However, the only way that they could ever tame this type of flame

was going to be with the guidance and help of God... 

With God, the flames would not burn out of control and destroy their entire world.

But without God... 

There was no hope of that, because all there was without God's light was 

shadows. 

 

And that is why He was now in the underworld....

And still getting triggered daily by not just her, but everyone 

and everything that he would ever come upon in his life...

But all she could do was admit her own faults.

Her own self deceptions, prides, and lies...

And just continue to work on her own shadows

as they came up daily because she lost her own way

many times too.

 No one was perfect. 

She knew that much. 

And that's why she had compassion for all,

 including her Twin Flame

. 

 

 

 

The Attitude

Not being able to drink, made her want to drink. 

Not wanting to feel emotions. only made them come around more.

But then wanting to make money or get a job, 

only made it ten times harder to even land a job, 

let alone save any money from what she already had.

So what gives? She questioned.

Why did life always seem to work in a paradox?

What was the secret that everyone else seemed to 

have gotten ahold of in order to be doing so much better then her?

She sat and pondered this thought for a moment. 

She wanted to feel out the flow of what she was doing..

Because obviously there really wasn't any flow happening 

so she knew something had to be reviewed, revisited, and revised.

If she wanted to make money or land a job in the here and now,

She had to first examine why she wasn't landing the jobs she was applying for.

She began by  asking herself the basic easy to see reality questions

 like; 

Had she done her part and applied for the job?

The answer there was yes. 

Did she possess all the skills required for the job she applied to?

The answer there was also a yes. 

Then she questioned herself with... has she gone up to the actual job 

and showed assertion, interest, and confidence in her abilities to help the 

applied to company?

And the answer yet again was an indiddly diddly do yuppers! 

So then... what was the hold up she thought? 

Could it be???

The unseen?

The energetics? 

Perhaps it was.

But for now it wasn't helping. At least it didn't look like that from her 

stand point. From where she was standing she actually looked like 

she wasn't even trying. People were telling her to try harder. 

That perhaps she didn't even want to get a job. 

But that really wasn't the case. She was indeed trying really hard. 

However, the universe was trying just as hard along with her

to fulfill the energetics inside her. 

The energetics of LACK.

The more she focused on the struggle to find something that she didn't yet have...

Told the universe to give her more of what she didn't have. 

But why was that?

And that's when she realized that the universe could only match her

to the vibration she had in her. 

So if the vibration flowing in her was one of need, want, or hope... 

The universe matched her with those lacks there of.

And so...After finally coming to terms with this sudden revelation,

 she took a step back and reassessed her view and intention... 

She didn't need anything, she thought. 

She was totally happy and content in her now moment. 

She was blessed with all that she could ever want. 

She had her family, friends, and nature all around her.

She had a house, food, a car, and money in her pocket. 

She had her health and vitality and she had God with her. 

There was nothing else she needed. She was completely and 

totally blessed and grateful! 

And after going through the list of all that was around her 

in that now moment, she felt a huge joy lift up in her. 

The energy was so great that it flowed right out of her into 

everything she did the rest of that day. 

And as she finished writing her first blog entry for the next chapter 

of her life... 

She felt truly grateful for the wonderful gift as a writer

that God had bestowed upon her!