Her fear of making mistakes and proving herself a failure
was beginning to show up again in real life.
It was February 2nd... Ground Hogs Day!
Was it time for another repeat?
This too was also a fear she held tightly to.
But as a teacher to the whole world,
She always taught them that holding on to fears and running with them
was the very thing that was going to secure that very fear
in their here and now.
Yet, when it was her time to face those exact same choices in life,
it allowed her to feel the heavy weight of that saying,
"It's easier said then done".
She sat outside on her porch contemplating what was real
and what was make believe...
She looked around herself and she saw that she was very grateful
for what she was given during hard times.
Yet, she knew that she needed to get back on her feet because
tensions were proving that time was not only running out
but that it would be a harsh deadline without pay.
And there was that word.
PAY...
Why did that word strike up so much fear in her?
As if there was a price to pay for being who she was.
She tried not to focus on this fear.
But instead she welcomed it.
As the fear lifted... she began to see clearly where she kept
going in circles with that very fear.
The fear of not being paid for doing those things in life that actually
excited her.
The fear that the things that she enjoyed and was inspired by each day,
would always have to be put away for later because of the fear
that they would not bring her abundance the same way
that getting paid did when doing something for someone else
in their timing and their way.
However, still having to wait for the pay a week or two later,
created worry then for the money to come in time to pay bills
that punished harshly when not paid in time.
And that very fear was what kept the cycle repeating...
But so...
what was as the ROOT of this fear, she thought?
Failure.
But to whom she thought?
Because when she did what she enjoyed, she was a winner.
She didn't care who agreed or didn't.
And when she was a winner, sure enough the abundance flowed in
like a river that was overflowing.
It was her mindset.
That was where the fear had took her hostage.
Her view that life had to be lived a certain way.
That life had to look a certain way.
That is where her truth had taken a backseat, because
her truth had so much more to offer then what she allowed herself
to believe was all there was.
Her fire was in her heart.
She needed to allow herself to warm up by that very fire.
It was never out side of her.
The fires she would make outside, always needed
a lot of attention and were never guaranteed,
whereas the fire within her heart only needed her
to be alive and just live.
And this is where the repeat would stop and the flow
would once again begin.
When she followed her heart!
