I Know that I Don't Know so I Know...

 She had stopped writing because she realized she was 

manifesting even the aftermaths that she was writing about.

The writing had kept her in a whirl wind of repeating events.

She was tired of the repeat. 

And as soon as she stopped writing, the truth had been revealed.

The game that was being played...

Finally reached it's end. 

Pluto was done. 

What had she learned?

That was the looming question.

She learned to trust her gut. 

She learned never to believe that the answer was out there.

Everything that she needed was indeed in her. 

She didn't need some magical belief to bring her anything.

She had everything. 

She just needed to listen to it. 

However.... 

Now came the next step. 

And this was the starting over part. 

The part that required her to use what she had within her. 

Her joys,

Her passions,

Her dreams... 

But what were those? 

She had gone so far away from them that she couldn't 

find her way back... 

She wondered aimlessly... 

She pushed herself so hard, yet never really got anywhere

except two more steps back from where she had began.

She really needed to stop now. 

before she ran herself to the ground... Six feet deep... 

So she sat back in her chair and just sipped her coffee...

And there she realized...

She was afraid to live... 

She was afraid to be happy... 

She was afraid to reveal who she truly was, even to herself...

But why?

And did it even matter?

She argued it with herself..

She did matter. 

She knew that much. 

But why was she afraid? That part didn't matter to her.

She just wanted to change it. 

But the block of fear was in the way... 

And this is where she realized that she was going to have to accept it.

She was going to have to accept her fear of moving forward.

Of being someone in this world.

She couldn't isolate herself anymore.

The universe wasn't going to allow it.

She was either going to have to 

Sink 

or 

Swim...

And that's what she was going to have to decide today...

And then actually take a step towards it 

in order to get the backup she required from the universe. 

She looked at Pluto sextiling Venus today... 

And she knew... 

It wasn't going to be easy, but it was possible...

So for her, the waters were getting too high to just continue

to sit there. 

It was time to put on her floaties...

and 

Swim...