No MoRe Fights...

One of her biggest lessons in this life was to own her truth! 

As easy as that had sounded... she never thought it would have 

been so hard to achieve..

Why?

Because Attachment had the biggest hold on her. 

She had an addictive personality flaw. 

She kept getting attached to people who really didn't 

have her best interest in mind.

 

It's almost like she enjoyed the fight. 

She wondered if this was because she had felt so 

comfortable being a warrior in a past life.

She was in deed the best one of her time. 

But in this life time... 

She knew she was not here to fight. 

She made sure to make it very obvious to herself. 

So she couldn't play dumb. 

She couldn't pretend to NOT KNOW.

Cause she was very much in the know. 

Even to the point of being able to read it in the stars. 

And so here she was today... 

Ready to end the game she played with herself.

She wasn't going to fight any one any more. 

And she definitely wasn't going to fight her own heart ever again.

It was a time to surrender. 

And she was ready. 

After her last fight... 

She didn't find it fun anymore to be the winner. 

The warrior... 

She needed someone to match her. 

Someone who allowed her to be herself. 

But that someone first had to be herself. 

She had to allow herself to walk in her own truth.

She had to own her own magic, 

with love. 

But before she could do that... 

She knew she had to find her vibe again.

And that required for her to go back to all that she loved about who she was.

One kick,

One beat,

One hike,

One flake,

at a time...

 

Let go to Surrender

It was Sunday night, 

Or Early Monday morning, since it was  midnight exactly,

however people wanted to look at it, she imagined..

However, that wasn't the main event in her mind. 

Her mind was a fog, all day long... 

But towards the evening, it managed to get more dense

instead of clearing up like she wished it would. 

She wondered if maybe she was putting her power 

out there. 

And when she reminisced the night from earlier, 

she realized real quick that indeed she had. 

She wondered why though. 

What was making her give over her power all the time to outside

energies?

and that's when it hit her. 

It was because she wasn't getting anywhere in her own life.

She wasn't doing anything that was producing any fruit.

She was sinking.

Deeper and deeper into the great abyss of nothingness.

Why wasn't the energies working with her?

What was the hold up?

She couldn't figure it out. 

She was doing all that she loved. 

She was making videos on the stars and planets. 

She was offering all that she knew about birth charts

and the readings of it to the collective... 

Yet nothing was catching on. 

Nothing was being rewarded financially to her. 

She was getting deeper and deeper into debt.

She couldn't buy food, gas, clothes, let alone pay for any rent 

or utilities. 

She was really falling head first into a bottom less pit!

She tried so hard to get jobs. 

But no one seemed to respond. 

When she went to them, they all turned her away. 

What was happening?

Why was she stuck in this twilight zone?

What was the universe trying to tell her? 

And why couldn't she hear it?

She was at her wits end... 

And she knew... It was almost over.

All of it...

There was not much more that could fall. 

Disappear..

or even Explode...

It was time...

Time to just let go. 

Let go of it all. 

And so she did that night... 

She laid down after 3 glasses of Pinot Grigio..

and she softly said to herself...

God be with me as I lay me down to sleep..

I pray, thee my lord, my soul to keep...

and then she passed out...