Your Poison...

 She was listening to a song by Alice Cooper...

It was called Poison... 

And she used to love the lyrics for being

So evil.

So twisted.

So deceptive... 

But then she remembered that with that kind of thinking...

That kind of poisoned mindset...

 She attracted him.

And she didn't want to go back there again.

It was indeed something that now she couldn't believe

she ever stayed in. 

Let alone manifested herself. 

She felt so ridiculous..

What was she really thinking?

How could she have been so twisted in her heart and mind?

She decided not to hate herself for it though, but instead 

to learn something from it. 

She heard it all the time;

 Bury the past, but take the wisdom.

And so that is exactly what she was going to do.

In her life, she kept attracting the same type of guys... 

Guys who had daddy issues. 

Making them all broken.

Just like her.

Afraid to commit to anything. 

Afraid to feel emotions.

Afraid to be totally authentic with themselves and with others..

She was also what they were... 

Broken. 

But by avoiding her own issues and trying to prove herself with 

guys in a relationship... 

It only attracted the same kind of poison that was already in her. 

The poison of bitterness! 

And when she finally saw that in her final relationship...

She realized it was time to stop. 

And face the truth.

That she could either forgive herself for harboring daddy issues...

Or she could die from the poison of bitterness. 

  

She chose to 

Universal Babie

 If this life were a fairy tale... 

Hers would be that of The Odyssey.

Why The Odyssey?

Well, simply because it has psychological depth and is imbued with the presence 

of gods and goddesses, that's why. 

She always called herself the Hungarian Goddess, but today, she wanted to 

explore a little further into the fantasy world and allow herself 

to get carried away with cleverness of The Odyssey.

In The Odyssey, we have Odysseus depressed on the island of Calypso...

Yet he begins to learn and get more in touch with his soul and feminine side

when he meets Kalypso, the veiled nymph and sorceress, who's name means,

"She Who Conceals".

Side note here, the term Nymph, to those who might not know, means; 

a mythological spirit of nature imagined as a beautiful maiden inhabiting rivers, woods, or other locations.

 

Nymph is not the same thing as a Nymphomaniac, which means;

1. a woman with uncontrollable or excessive sexual desire.

The interesting part of this mythological story is that Calypso fell in love 

with Odysseus and craved him for her own.

Odysseus messes up too though... 

When he makes love to Calypso in 

her hollow cave, it becomes the stopover in Odysseus' journey of the soul.

When she read the over view of this Story, The Odyssey,

 she knew immediately 

that this was her story.

She wrote it. 

Thousands of years ago. 

And it was her and her twin flame who acted it out

over and over again.

Her twin flame was exactly like Odysseus..

He charms all those he encounters being both incredibly clever and 

deeply imaginative and tender-hearted.

He is a man of many devices!

An Olympic-class liar.

He is a shape-shifter and has an uncanny capacity for change!

He is steadfast, loyal, has enormous self-control and endurance, 

and always shows cold blood in crisis. 

Now in January 2023... 

Hundreds and Thousands of years later... 

Calypso finally saw the truth that was about to set her free!

The truth of Psychics... 

The truth of Telepathy and the multilevel existence that existed.

And the truth of her PRIDE.

How she trapped herself into the entanglement that kept her mortal.

It was time to sing her song once more and lull the serpents that entangled her

into her own deaths. 

So that she can be free once and for all. 

But before she goes... 

She sends out a warm loving thank you to her Odysseus.. 

He taught her many good lessons here on earth. 

But she was now seeing that being immortal was what she 

was going to stay and no longer held onto the idea of him

being hers. 

He wasn't.

He was only a dream. 

And only existed there while they slept. 

It was time to wake up. 

 

  

Do It... Do It NOW!

 It was the evening of the Cancer Full Moon, 

and she had sat down in front of the television 

to watch her favorite old classics. 

She began her night with Three's Company first.

After watching a few episodes of the show

 and getting in a good laugh or two,

she switched to something a little more family orientated. 

Fuller House...

Fuller House was a continuation of an old show she used to watch way back 

when... called Full House. 

After watching just the first episode of fuller house, it brought back so many 

memories of the older version she used to watch that she tear'd up!

She remembered how she used to watch all these old family shows as a child...

And how she planted it in her mind that this is exactly what she wanted to create 

in this life of hers. 

But little did she know... that just wanting something was not enough to create it.

Instead, wanting something,

 created exactly the opposite because of a lack inside.

Yet... She didn't understand how to let go of the lack in order to build what she 

truly wanted...

Until now... 

Today during the Cancer Full Moon, it finally occurred to her that she needed to 

first be thankful and grateful for the family she already had. 

Even if it wasn't the kind of family she wanted to create... Just being thankful 

for what she had before her was the energy needed in order for her

to align with the feeling of compassion and love.

And that is exactly what the universe needed in order to give back 

Abundance! 

It took her 44 years to understand how to break out of this lack mentality. 

But today was the day she finally did it. 

And she was very grateful for that freedom.

She realized today that her mindset had to change. 

From looking at what she wanted to happen later...

And she needed to put her focus into being grateful each day for all 

that she had before her and for all that she could contribute lovingly

to it. And that energy was what was going to take her to her 

hearts truest desire!

Love.

Fortunate Events

 It was 11:01pm that Wednesday night when she had decided 

to write it out. 

Her mind seemed to be all a fuzz lately and so 

to write out what was up in her brain felt like it 

couldn't do too much more harm then there already existed.

Her and her sister were sitting at the dinner table 

with their laptops open.

Both of them were looking up the dates they both

 met 

and

executed

from their recent counterparts.

It was almost like the future representation of fortune tellers

 looking into their crystal ball! 

As she looked into April 7th 2021, she found the truth 

she was searching for. 

The truth that she actually already knew because she had done

her shadow work. 

The truth she found was

that their relationship was brought together by her team... 

The Sun, (Self Esteem)

 Saturn, (Limitations)

Jupiter, (Expansion)

and

 Mercury (Perception/communication)..

All of them together with the help of

 Pluto (Death and Rebirth)

and

 Uranus (Chaos/Radical freedom)

 had ganged up on her

 Moon (feelings/emotions) 

and took it hostage in

 Aquarius (Innovation) in the 2nd House (self worth/security)!

Why?

So she could learn to stop letting her life get washed away.

So she could stop giving over her power in relationships..

So she could learn to truly express her feelings to herself and then 

express and communicate her emotions to others,

 in a calm, feminine, loving way, even if they were 

not so pleasant. 

She needed to learn so much. 

And she did. 

But she had to remind herself today of all that she did learn, 

so that she could bury all the lessons and take only the wisdom with her

to where she was going next. 

It seemed the road was about to crack open for her. 

The red sea was about to part once again!

Because she was going to do it..

She was going to finally accept herself for who she truly was.

And she was finally going to open up!

And it felt good. 

Really good. 

 

Your Loud Silence Screams

The Cancer Full Moon was only a few days away, 

but the energies 

of it were already kicking up in high gear!

Cancer was the Mother.. The nurturer.. 

Cancer was ruled by the Moon, which of course

controlled the full spectrum of emotions 

witnessed and experienced by all the Human species.

The Sun on the other hand, was in Capricorn, the father!

The father represented limitations, structure, responsibility!

Capricorn was all that on earth especially since he was 

governed by Saturn. 

So... overall, it was going to be a very busy week!

The energies were just pouring in! 

She was already working on a lot of her own

 mother and father wounds. 

Pretty much since Early September of last year.

Her and her twin flame had quite the fireball explosion

all because of both their parental wounds. 

And so she wanted to rewire her own Broken Consciousness

since she realized that it was leading her life far away

from what she truly came to accomplish on this Planet.

Until she, herself, was healed from the broken consciousness...

She knew very well that her twin would not appear any better 

then they were before.

Zero Feelings, No Emotions...

She knew that until they both learned to communicate 

their true feelings to themselves first 

and then truthfully to each other,

there would be no communication at all. 

And so that night when he tried to reach out to her 

as he always did with his degrading words...

 She knew it was just an illusion. 

And so she didn't even try to grasp it. 

She just allowed it to disappear... 

 

 

Lust for Freedom, is the exchange..

 It was a brand New Year! 

A blank new page to a 365 page book.

There was not a cloud in the sky. 

She had a Clear Sunny Day in front of her.

But before she could take that first step into this wonderful 

gift of a New Year... 

She had to first release all the baggage she was carrying

deep inside her heart!

It almost felt like such a burden to even go down the stairs

to her heart's deepest core, where love did reside..

Because as she took each step down the stairway to her

deepest core,

 there were so many struggles, hurts, and pains, that 

she had thrown down there to either deal with later, 

but then forgot, or honestly just didn't want to 

even address and thought they would just disappear all on their own.

That out of sight out of mind sort of false belief... 

As she tried to continue down the stairs, she was beginning to regret

her decision because the pains all started to come at her like 

toddlers in need of nurturing and attention... 

She didn't want to lift up these pains.. She didn't want to lose 

that good feeling she had coerced herself into feeling with beer

and family laughs the night before. 

But then she remembered.. 

Living in the now moment meant to be true and aware of how 

she felt right now. 

And since this was her heart she was checking in with... 

She realized that in the now moment all these pains needed her.

And so she allowed herself to give love to all the pains. 

She knew she couldn't fix them.. That was up to God to do.. 

But she had to take that first step to go down to her heart and 

allow all that was there to come to her. 

Like little infants, little toddlers, or even little pets. 

She knew that sometimes life was hard and it hurt. 

And she knew that those emotions and feelings never felt good.

But she also learned that life wasn't just about the good. 

It was also about really feeling truth. 

And truth sometimes hurt. 

But that didn't mean that it didn't deserve love. 

So as the pains came to her, 

she began to collect the pieces one by one. 

And she started to embrace her flaws.

She began to weigh out a lot of areas where she had turned 

away from God's true light, which was love. 

She saw that most of the pains that came to her were in fact

based in lust. 

She saw that she had lust in her mind and had called it love. 

When she had found her Twin Flame, she realized that 

she had lusted after giving him all kinds of help and affections 

in order to feel like she was a wonderful loving partner.

She had called this love... 

But truth was... 

If she didn't love herself in the same manner that she was giving 

away to this other person, 

Then surely, she had been feeding her EGO! 

Her Twin Flame was always right when he said things to her.

She just wasn't catching on.

She kept burying things. 

The feelings, the hurts, the pains.. 

But why?

The Spirit of Lust... 

That's why. 

And there it was! 

The demon encompassing her Love, keeping it a prisoner. 

And as she approached the demon of Lust in her, she knew 

she was safe because she had turned back to God. 

He had brought her here... To meet head to head..

Eye to eye with her greatest reflection! 

Her own deceit!

Lust! 

And she took the key that was hanging around her neck 

on a chain necklace and she unlocked the handcuff that had 

chained her love and lust together as one. 

And she finally set the spirit of Lust free! 

And There she too was Free! 

Finally! 

The Gravity BuBBle...

 She was getting the message to release and let go 

of all that no longer served her highest good. 

And with that thought she got scared. Anxious. Resistant. 

She didn't want to let go of things because she felt afraid 

that she would be left alone and in a void of nothingness. 

She didn't want to not be seen. 

If even being seen as horrible was all she could concoct.

She made sure to give it her 110% best effort.

She had become the best worst version of herself that 

she could ever imagine. 

She was proud of herself. 

And that's when it broke. 

The bubble of pride she was living in. 

Giving herself over to creating the best worst version of herself

was done with. 

There was nothing more that she could create with that version 

of herself. 

And so now, there she sat alone in the Unknown... 

In that void of nothingness that she had been trying to 

avoid for so long. 

And she realized that it really wasn't that scary. 

It was actually a place to take a rest and breathe. 

And then she called on God and asked him to reconnect her.

To connect her to the truth of who he made her. 

And in reconnecting to her true self, first she had to 

Dig up all her past patterns. 

They needed to be spotted, recognized as weeds, 

acknowledged that they could look pretty even though they were weeds, 

and then the decision would have to be made to finally uproot 

them because they were sucking away all the nutrients from her 

growing into who she truly came here to express. 

So she sat back and just re-evaluated her life and her habits. 

She began to see a lot of repeating of old family patterns in 

herself. 

The fear of God not being there to guide her on this earth,

was the 

biggest fear

 of all that she carried forward from her family roots.

 

She realized now, that all that she had allowed herself to run from or believe

that came from the family line, the family roots, was all FEAR based. 

And to escape fear was never the answer. 

It took her 44 years to realize that the only way to heal her own life. 

Her own faulty patterns, was indeed not to

Escape thru over indulgence in food, drink, drugs, cleaning, working, etc.

Resistance thru rage, hate and anger at all the world

Withdrawal thru isolation and solitudes into depression of emotions

Distractions thru fantasy illusions of movies, books, or gadgets.

Judgments of people, cultures, and traditions... 

or even

Destruction of self or of others because of paranoia and suspicions.

She learned finally that...

The true demise of fear was to actually face it! 

See it in it's entirety! 

To accept it as real and for what it was capable of. 

The fact that FEAR really was always just her own Shadows. 

Her own inner demons that were stuck inside her because she didn't

know how to greet them when they came to her.

The one other thing that she had finally learned was that 

to FEEL from the heart was the MOST IMPORTANT weapon

when it came to coming head to head with fear. 

Why?

Because the heart is all LOVE. 

And where there is LOVE, fear can not thrive. 

So the choice of how to greet the fears was always up to her.

 Every time she came upon a demon fear such as;

Fear of losing her family. 

Fear of losing respect.

Fear of being left all alone... 

Fear of not being heard.

Fear of not being important. 

Fear of not being right.

Fear of not being lovable or loving enough.

All of these fears when they came to her seemed so big! 

And because she didn't know how to greet them correctly because of 

a false belief in the root of her family tree being connected to a weed.

Every time she would handle them with a fight instead of LIGHT! 

And this is what had lead her to the patterns that now seemed 

to keep her in a spin cycle of repeats.

It was time to stop and see them clearly. . 

It was time to stop and smell the roses and realize that if they stink

they were never really roses... and that she had put on 

rose colored glasses her whole life wanting to see the weeds

as something more then what they truly were. 

A false belief....

And so... today, she had come to that message of

The time to release...

All of these weeds of fear had to First be seen and accepted as not working... 

She had a garden before her full of them. 

It looked so beautiful, yet smelled so bad. 

It was time to recognize them as weeds and not flowers!

And it was time to uproot them all with the knowing 

that the love she truly felt in her heart was always the way forward. 

And if fear should ever arise, when making decisions.. 

She knew that she could trust God and her true hearts feelings 

to guide her through every step of her life. Why?

Because even if sometimes her fearful Ego's feelings should allow her to 

experience something not so pleasant and aligned with her true self,

the unpleasant consequence would only serve to realign her with 

her highest truth, which was love for herself first and then love for others! 

And this is where she felt the most Joy, Peace, and Love in her. 

And so this is where she began to Garden her life back to health!